i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
