If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize