I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
