oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
