At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize