yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
