Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
