I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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