member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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