How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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