why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
