mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
so much tequila, so little girl.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
