there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
