Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
