She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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