Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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