So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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