He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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