the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
