Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
