He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Can you bring me the toilet please
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
