he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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