he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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