My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
