..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
