Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i came on her dog
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
