I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
