maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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