Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
