"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
