I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We are two peas in an std pod
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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