Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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