you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
