And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
