My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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