a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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