I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
