Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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