Porn is love you can see.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
