Yo dont text me then not text me
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Those nachos came to me in a dream
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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