i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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