Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
