road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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