He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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