all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
