My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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