SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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