I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
