Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
you had me at cake vodka
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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