Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
