just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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