farters have to be the big spoon...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
