addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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