I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
