Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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