ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
