i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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