I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
