i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
