:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
