you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Holy sore nipples Batman
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
