People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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