Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
