I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
